Finding the Smiles

I have to say all the waiting can sometimes drive a person crazy. Does “you’ll hear from us in ten days” mean: 10 days, 10 business days, 30 days or never? It becomes harder when your a first time parent watching your kid going through a teething stage but second guessing yourself. All the screaming, endless. Thinking maybe its not a tooth. Maybe its a headache caused by his condition. Could there be something else were missing. The thoughts of the sleepless mommy.

Especially when at a 6 month well check the new pediatrician tells you there is nothing wrong, even though his head is measuring big. Brandon and I almost let our moths drop and just hang there. But Brandon instead corrected the doctor that indeed something was wrong. So wrong in fact we’ve been chasing pediatric neuro doctors around for 2 months. So wrong that we are waiting for the CATscan to finally be set and awaiting a date for surgery. Needless to say we’ll be happy to see our own doctor at the next visit.

So while we wait, I practice being ok with this whole surgery. If you’ve talked to me in person I will tell you its not big deal. Because with the internet you can always find a worse story. ย And that’s how I choose to deal with this. You may think this is a traumatic event, but for us its going to just be another week in our lives. Albeit, one where we live in the ICU, but one that we will get through all the same. For many parents that’s not the case. Even other craniosynostosis kids will have a harder battle. And yet the babies smile. Happy for each day. So that’s how I will be one smile at a time, one day at a time. No sense wasting the days upset!

Which is why last night in anticipation of Sawyers surgery, I made two little onesies. Custom for his conditions humor. Though I have been told its not funny by my mother. I choose to think if it makes you smile when you might be crying, its worth it. So I made one kiwi green {doesn’t that just sound like a cute happy color!} That says Chicks Dig Scars. Fitting as he will have one of the biggest. And Another baby blue that says “My first haircut was by a Neurosurgeon.” They beat grandma to it ๐Ÿ˜‰ So if you find it morbid, so be it. He’s gonna get a lot of attention with that scar so might as well bring a smile to it as well. ๐Ÿ™‚

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