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The Zelda Birthday!
I like to wait till the last minute to plan birthdays. And then come up with so many over the top idea’s that it doesn’t LOOK like I waited till the last minute! I call it the procrastinators dream! So that’s how I decided to make an entire zelda themed day for Brandon’s Birthday this year! Shhhh don’t tell him that part, he has no idea! 😉
First present, sleeping in. Let’s be real, this is the BIG one, the one that we dream of all year, the one you don’t appreciate until you have 2 monsters in front of your face when you wake up each morning. So while he slept I sneakily made 30 crepes and stacked them with layers of peanut butter and cream cheese. Then drizzled them in chocolate sauce and sprinkles. YES it totally tasted as good as it looked. And I promise the crepe recipe is coming this week! Want to know Brandon’s reaction for this masterpiece? “why didn’t you just make regular crepes?” MEN! But it’s his birthday so I didn’t murder him for that comment.
Moving right along we have the amazing pixel filling heart mug! From amazon if you also have a video game lover in your house! Seriously, amazon is what helps me pull off most of my amazing last minute plans. He also received Zelda socks and Zelda Yahtzee from the kids.
For dinner I really outdid myself, Frozen Pizza! But 2 flavors so kinda of a big deal. I also served them in the triforce symbol. Yup I’m a gourmet chef in the making.
Here’s the thing I ACTUALLY put time and thought into. Every year I make Brandon a giant amazing cake. There was the peanut butter sandwich, the oreo cake, the reese cup chocolate cake. I always go all out. But this year I wanted to make it extra special. So I whipped out the fondant and got creative. I love the way it turned out. It really wasn’t too hard. I used premade fondant. Colored it yellow, printed out the image I wanted to use, and traced around it. I have been making cakes for along time but it gets easier with practice every time. Trust yourself, you are capable of so much more than you think.
We ended up playing Yahtzee with friends all night. It was a great evening. Happy Birthday Bman, we love you so much. Can’t wait to plan your next birthday a couple days before next year too.
St Patty’s Day 2016
This one is going to be very picture heavy! I am a huge fan of the holidays. Basically I have been waiting for my boys to get to this age of fun. Of making special days all about them! I swear it looks like I am putting in this crazy amount of energy into this stuff but I am not. I am just spicing little things up.
I mean I HAD to make crepes. I am the crazy crepe lady. I make crepes for every single special occasion. I actually have a ton of breakfast recipes I make but crepes just feel right. I have been making crepes since I was 11. And I promise to share the recipe soon! I added a few drops of food coloring and sawyer yelled “I’ve never seen anything like this before!!!” I will do anything for that reaction every time.
Sawyer had preschool on St. Patricks Day this year and was sent off pinch proof in his green shirt. He made this 4 leaf clover earlier in the week and I found out they all picked different things to be lucky for. He picked us, the feels were real guys. As a parent you always think you aren’t doing good enough. This was the reminder that he thinks we are the best.
I snuck a green tea frap into my morning. Because it was green. I HAD to! But this is the last one after adding up the bill of my monthly Starbucks runs. YIKES. Don’t do that, its like checking the calorie count on your favorite bottle of wine. Scary.
For lunch we had rainbows with gold coins at the end. I found these little gold plates at target earlier in the week and they really sparked all these idea’s. Dang target! I cut up their favorite fruits to make the rainbows. Guess who’s is who’s? To be fair, Sawyer’s would have been a single color up until recently, so this is HUGE progress!
We hit up the library for St. Patricks Day books. Apparently very limited, but they had this lovely little book! Its even worse inside haha. Someone was definitely pushing some limits!
Here’s a couple pics of the boys in case you forgot how cute they are!
And lastly, my nails were festive as always! Your nails can be too. Just shop my link, they are always buy 3 get 1 free. You can hit me up for a free sample too if you want. Head over to my Instagram and drop me a DM to do that.
No One Brings An Addict Dinner
We’re going to go from a super happy post to a super serious one. Isn’t that how life goes, you celebrate and then get a call and it wipes out the happiness thriving inside. When this blog was a happening place it was because I was blogging from my heart. Something you all said you appreciated hearing. So let’s start that again. Hi my name is Alissa, and my sister is a drug addict.
You wouldn’t know it if you saw her on a good day. Might not even notice if you saw her on an off day. Because Drug addicts don’t always look like the movies tell you. She doesn’t come from a broken family, in fact against all odds my parents are still together when the majority end in divorce. She excelled in school, she was on team’s, she had close friends. But someone asked her to try it and she did. That’s all it took, was saying yes. That was almost 10 years ago now.
Here’s the thing though, with most times you find your life struggling, in sickness, death, bringing home a new baby, moving, or other typical situations, people rally behind you. They bring food, they help clean up your house, they pick you up for rides, they give without thinking. But no one brings an addict dinner. More over no one wants to gather around the family and help at all. Cancer isn’t contagious, neither is addiction, but you would think it was. Don’t let your kids near the addict because they’ll become one too. And if that doesnt keep them away the judgement surely will. Im sure I know people have judged my parents. They must have done something to cause her to reach for drugs instead of normal things. It’s an incredibly unfair thing to do to her, but more so her family who would give anything to have those 10 years back.
But here’s the other thing. We dont wish we could change her, we just want to help her. We can accept her and love her through this. Because we remember what she was like those 10 years ago, and we still see glimpses of that person in between dark days. In fact its easy for me to forget she is dealing with inner demons when she’s on a good streak. Those good streaks can last hours, days, months, or years. This is NEVER going to not be a part of our lives. An Addict is in recovery for the rest of their life. And thats why when those calls come in, they can catch you totally off guard.
Like that time I got a call on Christmas day. Only an hour after the last time I had seen her. I had been so mad because I knew she was using. I didn’t even say goodbye because I wanted her to know I was mad. And at almost midnight I ran through a house crying for my husband to watch the kids while I threw a sweater over my pjs on the way to the car. I drove out to my parents house, it was a 15 min drive, it was the longest 15 minutes of my life. Have you ever wondered if someone was going to be alive when you got to your destination? Its the worst feeling in the world, I was making plea deals with God to forgive me for not saying goodbye when I left earlier, but I couldnt lose her with that being the last time. It was just starting to snow, that Christmas miracle snow, the soft barely falling thick pieces of snow. It was beautiful. The image of that snow falling against the lights of an ambulance will forever be burned into my memory. And when I went inside we got to pretend everything was happy for my nephew who was awakened by the commotion. Too young to know, we all sat with him and smiled while tears ran down our cheeks.
Do you know what happened next? Nothing, no one rushed over to hug my mom as she sat with utter shock as my dad accompanied my sister to the hospital, and I left to go back to my own kids. No, she tucked that little boy into bed and cried herself to sleep in the early morning hours after Christmas day was officially over. No one made her dinner the next day when she couldn’t force herself to prep and cook food while entertaining a grandchild. No one calls her to ask how she is handling it now, no one asks what they can do to help. That’s the thing about addiction, it doesnt only affect the addicted, eventually it touches everyone in the family.
Why am I writing this now? Because I got that call again yesterday. And like so many before, I answered unexpecting the news on the other end. Now I go through the struggle of emotions. The understanding, the anger, the questions of why that will never make sense to her or I. A hurricane of emotion that can hit you when you least expect it, or leave you feeling empty and raw in the next second. There is no right way to deal with this and unless you have lived it you wont truly understand what I am talking about. And if that’s the case I truly hope you get to stay one of those lucky few who never have to experience this.
Do you know someone who is dealing with addiction? Please go hug them. If they are an addict, or a parent of one, a sibling of one, a friend of one. Show them some love, because for some reason in our society we’ve left them to deal with it alone. Which is probably the saddest of all the things affecting the families of addicts. For so long I have kept these stories to myself. Afraid I too would pass on the judgement on her behalf. And yes there is going to be those people who read these words and have that opinion still. But it might also touch someone who has dealt with a similar situation. It might make you pause and take the time to love someone instead of judge someone next time. We didnt think we were going to deal with this in life, you don’t get to pick and choose the trials you go through. But the conquering the unexpected hardships is what makes your family stronger. Get familiar with how big of an issue drug addiction actually is. http://luxury.rehabs.com/drug-abuse/ And this will definitely not be the last time I bring this up. Transparency is the start to healing and this is a way for me to heal, and hopefully help the person I love heal. And next time you hear of a loved one dealing with addiction, take them dinner and tell them you are there to support them with love.
The Second Pregnancy + Complications.
Let me tell you a little story about the last couple weeks.
There has been a great many stories we have added to our lives over the years. I have some pretty unique ones. When I start telling my life story as if it’s any other, the person listening usually ends with a wide open jaw. I guess I just consider life – life. Crappy things are going to happen but its how we handle them that makes us better people, stronger people.
Our marriage started out with being separated in two countries, 3 days after our wedding. I was then banned for 4 months from entering the states from attempting to marry for citizenship. {Ps he’s dual, so I was marrying a fellow Canadian that grew up in the same city as me, and 5 years after getting here, I still have not gone after citizenship, and probably never will.} But here we are almost celebrating a 6 year anniversary, and this seem’s like only a distant memory.
My first pregnancy I was deemed high risk even though I was healthy and only 24. I had a condition called polyhydramnios. In short, I carried an excess amount of amniotic fluid, to the point of them debating whether it was worth the risk to remove some. I was measuring over 40 weeks pregnant while I was only 35. I had an ultrasound done every 2 days for the last 2 months to monitor it. I was hooked up to machines to watch the contractions it had begun to develop because of the rate of fluid.  I was having full blown labor contractions and I wasn’t even feeling them because of the cushion the fluid provided. I was put on a bunch of medication to stop the contractions and hopefully slow the fluid. But we made it to 39 weeks. And a healthy little boy was born.
The healthy little boy turned out to have yet another condition. This one not so rare. Its actually unbelievably common. 1 in 2000 children are born with Craniosynostosis. Mine was that one. It was a word that sounded like gibberish that first time a doctor uttered it. Now I could tell you every little detail. And it is an honor to help other cranio families through that journey. He was born without a soft spot. His head began to grow only length wise and could have caused mass amount of pressure on his brain and development, had we not had the surgery. My tiny baby had surgery at 8 months old. It should have been the worst day of my life, it was the most humbling moment to see how horrible the surgery and recovery was, and know he was still the healthiest child in that PICU unit.
The second baby was stubborn. I wanted children close together. My sister and I were 18 months apart. I wanted that desperately. It wasn’t in the cards. That’s the thing, you imagine your life, plan it out perfectly and you never stop to think about what will go wrong in between. It was easy as pie to conceive the first child. Why would it be any different with the second. Silly naive thoughts. It took over a year to get pregnant with the second. Each month that ticked by felt like a year. I never understood the agony of not getting pregnant. It seem’s like such an easy task. For me it was the hardest months I’ve faced. Constant fb announcements, babies everywhere. I wanted to shut the world out. But you cannot stop the world from turning. And it turned and turned and turned and finally those lines showed up. But I have a new respect for those women who are going through, or have gone through those months that slowly turn into years. And that silently tell themselves it’s not their fault, when it feels like the biggest personal let down in your life. And a new heart break for the ones that never get those lines and relief.
Now we were finally on our way again! Having lived so many stories. Having learned to love the roller coasters ups & downs. As you cannot see how beautiful life is, without living some dark days.
And then we hit a dark day. I was back in my childhood home and country, visiting family for a funeral. It was a very last minute trip. I was only 3 hours away from returning home again after being away from my husband for 12 days. Since I’m pregnant I opted for the last minute bathroom trip before the drive to the airport. Instead we drove to the hospital.
At 21 weeks I began to bleed. Heavily. You read about women losing babies this far, and further into pregnancy, but you never imagine yourself in the situation. I can honestly say I think my mind went into shock for the first 5 minutes. I just stared at this bright red color and couldn’t think past the idea of how bright it was, and how wrong I knew it was. Then from somewhere beyond me I heard my own voice screaming for my mom. Because in the end we will always be the child, and our mothers will always be the hero to save us.
It was a 15 minute drive to the hospital, it felt more like 60. For me, leaving Sawyer behind as he sobbed because his mommy was crying, was almost as hard as dealing with the present situation. It broke my heart into a million pieces to see my sister holding him back as I ran out the door to the car. I called my husband and couldn’t get any words beyond the broken gasps of air, dry heaving, sobbing, trying to explain an impossible situation. I was beyond shock, I knew exactly what this could mean. You never understand distance until you are in a hospital, in another country from someone you need.
I was immediately checked in, and hooked up, and blood taken. Since there was no record of my pregnancy at all in Canada, they had to start from scratch. But they found a heartbeat and it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard. It had to mean we were all ok. It didn’t. They moved me to the maternity wing for better care. You don’t know how awful it is to have every nurse and doctor look at you with pity when they start talking. The optimistic OBGYN began with “maybe the blood is not even coming from your cervix.” Seconds into a physical exam she stopped and said they needed to do an ultrasound immediately, as it was definitely coming from the pregnancy. Then the optimistic view left her voice. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked at me deeply and stated, “I’m sorry, if this continues, you are just not far enough along.” It took a moment to settle over me, what that meant. I was 21 weeks, I was out of the dangerous first trimester. I knew the sex, I knew his name, I was attached to this little baby, of course in my mind I was far enough along. But I was not. I went into that first night wondering if I was going to fly home with a baby or not.
First it was a Placenta Previa. But then they noticed a tear. They told me they were going to hold me overnight to monitor the bleeding. {Here is where I was so touched by everyone who came rushing to the hospital to help in any way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those special people who saw me at my absolute worst that day, and loved me even more because of it}. In the morning I was sent for the most in depth ultrasound I’ve ever had. They spent 2 hours combing over this little man inside of me, making sure every little detail was perfect and healthy. Hearing that he was doing fantastic was the biggest, best news ever. And as if he knew, he began to kick that day like a zumba instructor. He kicks me constantly, which keeps me awake all night. But I will take his constant reminders that he is a fighter over sleep any night.
During the ultrasound they tossed aside the previa diagnoses, instead they saw the tear again. Yet another doctor came to tell me all about placenta abruption. Don’t google it. I should have listened to him. He said it was small, but it would never repair itself. My placenta had ripped away from the wall and that was what caused the bleeding. He said there was nothing that caused it and nothing that will trigger it again. At this point myself and baby were healthy, and he would discharge me with some restrictions. I was not allowed to fly for 72 hours. He didn’t even want to let me fly, but what can you do when you live in another country? I am no longer allowed to lift sawyer or anything over 10 pounds. {Who remember’s we are moving this summer, twice. Let the good times roll!} And I was advised to stop photography altogether. But it wasn’t bedrest so I will take whatever I can get.
It has been slightly frustrating since returning home. I bled for 5 days straight but then it stopped. The greatest thing ever. Except, once it stops they can no longer see the tear or where the blood began. So since my records are in Canada and I cannot have full access to them, the doctors here have little to go on. Without my full ultrasound scans they cannot see the tear so they have now diagnosed that it was simply an early contraction. Frustrating, since in Canada they pointed out multiple times to me where the tear was and I have seen it with my own eyes. But, it hasn’t happened again so I am just trying to stay positive that it was a one time thing. One more story to add to the list of downs, and one happy ending to add to the list of ups.
This week marks the beginning of my third trimester. Officially I am far enough along. The survival rate of saving a premature baby jumps to 90% I have waited patiently the last few weeks to get to this point before telling this story. But like all the other stories in my life, I believe there is always someone out there that needs to read a happy ending to a dark day. We are not at the end yet but with each kick, and each week we get a little closer to a healthy newborn, and a little further away from May 19 and some awful memories.
“We’re all stories in the end, just make it a good one.” A favorite quote, from a favorite person. {And if you know the reference, you’re awesome.} I believe we benefit the most from the dark stories. I have a whole new value to the uncomfortable parts of pregnancy. The kicks, the sleepless nights, the everlasting heartburn, even the possibility that I will have the same high risk fluid issue this trimester. Because all those annoying things mean I still have a baby growing inside this bump. Sometimes it just takes a little perspective to see the silver lining of the annoying every day issues we like to complain about.
So that’s the newest story in the lissables life. Why I haven’t been talking pregnancy news lately. Why we are taking over 2 weeks to move when most people do it in one day. Why I have slowed down drastically on photography, and bookings this summer. And most importantly why I am not going home this summer like I have for the past 5 years. I am used to staying for the entire month of August, beating the heat of Vegas. Especially on a year where I am pregnant and am already dying from the summer heat in June. It’s the first time ever I have not gone home for the summer. It’s a little disappointing, but we’ll manage. We get to move into the new house this August, so there is always something to look forward to. And in September we will finally welcome this little fighter. Both my boys have shown such endurance through medical setbacks in their first years. And both have proved to be little warriors who can handle the worst. I can’t wait to meet this next little hero of mine.
As always this was a very personal post. If you made it this far, congrats on reading my novel of a virtual diary. I like to share my experiences, good and bad. It makes me who I am and I wouldn’t change it. If you wish to talk more about this topic, you can reach me at lissables@gmail.com Thank you everyone for your amazing and continuing love and support through the years.
Sorry for the inconvenience
Lissables.com is not fully operational due to a hacker/spammer. This is causing the site to not look or function properly. We continue to try and be up and running as soon as possible. Please direct yourself to our facebook page at www.facebook.com/lissablesphotography or email me at lissables@gmail.com
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It’s Been Awhile.
I hope you read that title in your best song voice. I can almost hear my husband doing his best Josh Groban imitation with it. It’s been awhile. over 2 months to be precise. And lets be honest. Before that I was not very consistent either. So for the every year in a row, my resolution was to blog more. I miss it. It used to be my best therapy and biggest pride. I think it’s one of the biggest reason’s I was strong through Sawyer’s surgery. Which is why my resolution has two parts. Not only do I want to blog more, I want to blog straight from the heart again. Its easy with crafts and photography to be swept up in the happiest happy words, but they are not always the ones on my mind.Â
This year there will be lots of changes in our lives and they are all exciting, and I hope we can add even more to the planned fun. I’m cleaning out our house in order to list it as soon as possible and we will finally get to move, possibly into a little dream house of mine. I have to be patient before I get to share any details but I’m sure I’ll be talking about it in the coming months.Â
I need to back track and share some of my favorite photography moments from 2013. It was the most amazing first year. I couldn’t have done it without all of you. I have a wonderful support group from my friends, family and clients. I cant believe how many referrals and rebookings I had just in the first 12 months. They are already rolling in for this year as well. And I can’t wait to get to them!Â
Lastly. We are still working around the blog being hacked. Its been a huge disappointment, I’m sure to you as well. I am not technical but Mr. Lissables is on his way to fixing it. If you do see the blog is temporarily down, send me a quick message. It’s easy to reset it but it does still go down often.Â
If you are still reading this, Thank you. I value all my readers to the end of the world. I am often surprised that anyone outside of my hubby and dad read this old thing. Thank you for sticking with me.
A Little Family Preview
Dear readers, I am SO behind on editing, housework, blogging, life. So here is only a little sneak peek at one of the session’s I have been working on. This is my lovely sister in law and her family. It almost looks like we are not in Las Vegas. I love it! The beautiful couch is from Nostalgia Resources, a local rental company that made this shoot just a little bit more special! I have so many more beautiful images from this session, so you want to check back!Â
Seriously, you want to check back for their full post! Because those are some of the cutest little kids I know. Totally unbiased 😉
Hacked.
I know I lost a lot of reader’s this spring when my blog began to run slow and then stopped working all together. I got all excited when my new design rolled out, refreshed and inspiring. I only got 2 blog posts in before I realized it wasn’t my previous blog that had the problem. It was something else. Something I never saw coming. I was hacked.
I’m sorry for all of my fans who have been so loyal and stuck with me through the troubles. We know the problem and although it’s happened again a couple times since discovering it, we can fix it now. So thank you awesome lissables fan’s, I’m back on track now and all for you.
I’ve got lots to share with you this week. Lots of photography. LOTS. And everything from Inspiration Unlimited. Sawyer got a new bed and we converted the nursery into a toddler room. It’s been a busy month. {Didn’t I say that in August too?} And October is not slowing down in the slightest either. So stick around, we’re finally back.
A Memory Waiting to be Made | Las Vegas Wedding Photographer
As you are all aware, I am majorly back logged with edits. I am also sick. And the mother of a two year old. So things around here are busy. To say the least. So when I am feeling overwhelmed I skip ahead to something I have been dying to work on. And even though I have just shown you some other previews from Mallory & Kyle’s Wedding, I have yet another. And seriously people, I am in love with it.
There is something so delicately romantic about ring shots. Including the date just add’s another touch of sentiment. A memory waiting to be made.