Recovery Day 1.

I feel like time inside this glass box were living in is stopped. I’ve been in this hospital for 42 hours straight. If it isn’t stopped it moves as slow as possible.

I just stared at those 3 sentences for another hour. I am not on my game for writing today. But as promised: updates!

Sawyer had a really good night, we had a fantastic night nurse that took really good care of him. She will be back tonight and tomorrow. I did manage to get some sleep in, on a reclining chair in the room with Sawyer. But I got up with him when he cried. Usually just with the nurse doing checks. I woke up at 530 this morning and he continued to have a good morning with me. Daddy arrived at 10 and took mommy for a much needed breakfast break. We hung out in our room and Sawyers face really began to swell, When the morphine gets close to wearing off he is agitated and whimpers in pain. He was doing ok eating some formula and pedialyte but is no  longer taking either. We had a couple visitors with care packages and an emergency gloworm drop off. Sawyers favorite toy decided today was the day to have the battery die, sing a couple creepily slow songs before shutting down. Brandon and my mom switched places. {only 2 visitors in a room at a time.}

And everything was going ok but we had a couple minor complications this afternoon. He was very pale and although swelling in the face is normal, he was swelling all over. His poor puffy body wouldn’t bleed when they stuck his foot for a blood test. It has since gone down and his color is coming back after receiving a couple different drip lines. Then we had a spike in his heart rate. Reaching 196, it should be ideally sitting at a 140, but up to 170ish for allowing a rise due to his fever. He had blood drawn and an EKG to rule everything out. All the tests came back normal! Music to my ears. He is now doing much better, and mommy is having a hard time staying awake. Adrenaline only works when its not all normal and in a quiet lull.

The best part of today has been that I got to finally hold Sawyer. He is still all hooked up but they had to change some sheets and lift him so I got to briefly hold that little trouper. With all that fluid in him + on morphine and asleep, he felt like he doubled his weight. And though Ive been looking at that beautiful but swollen face all morning, I had no idea how swollen it was until I had it in my arms. But he is doing really well now. Sleeps most of the day and night. Levels are all returning to normal. I was told he was having another blood transfusion, just waiting on the blood bank but I have yet to see that happen. He’s all comfy on his little hospital crib. And even though he’s so swollen and looks nothing like my little Sawyer right now, he has mannerism’s that remind me of his super sweet self. A little laugh noise, an arm movement, sucking his lips in, even a half hearted smile{even if I know its just gas!} All things that remind us he’s still our little guy.

And since you are all writing such nice messages about how strong I am being. I must admit I am also surprised! But it is very humbling when you are in the PICU. There is a little baby to our right who is alone much of the time. And his alarms go off often. Meanwhile we have people dropping off care packages and visiting and asking if they can see him. On the other side is a 12 yr old boy who was hit by a car and dragged 40 yards. Lots of broken bones and complications. And both their mothers are being strong. So why wouldn’t I. sawyer is doing great and in recovery for a planned routine{ish} surgery. We are so lucky this is all we have to deal with.

We have even been so lucky to have lots of friends and family visiting. Auntie Jess broke up Brandon and Grandma’s visits and it was just perfect. I need someone to cry over this baby, because we just can’t. Daddy came back for a late night visit but didn’t stay the night again. He has been allowed to, at our lovely nurses request but we just find one of us might as well get a decent sleep. And I still can’t find it in me to leave.

Thanks for all the long distance love being sent our way. We are being kept busy and distracted with all the little messages of encouragement. Thanks for the continued support!

9 thoughts on “Recovery Day 1.”

  1. Sawyer is so lucky to have such a huge support system and an amazing mommy who IS strong and hasn’t left his side. Here in Vegas and praying and sending all my love your way! Such a little fighter Saywer is. Lots of love guys. Xoxoxo

  2. Regardless of how swollen Sawyer has gotten, you can still she that he is Sawyer! There is something indomitable about how his “way” shines through — even now in his present state. I hope his mother will finally allow herself to break away from him and go home to have a much needed rest and decompression!

    GB & Pop Pop

  3. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
    You make me happy when skies are gray
    You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
    Please don’t take my sunshine away
    I’ll always love you and make you happy,
    If you will only say the same.

    Thinking of all of you each day. Lots of Love from all of us McTrowes.

  4. Wow, I am speachless Alissa. It looks like everyone is doing amazing and I wish I could give you a big hug. Your an inspiration for sure, your strength is amazing. I am thankful that everything has gone smoothly and you have lots of family there for you and Sawyer. I have been following your blog and fbook for a while and it brings tears to my eyes. There truly are some amazing and remarkable people in this world and you are one of them.
    Xo

  5. He is a champion…did you really have any doubt?

    He is so very special! Holding him in your arms again must have been the most amazing feeling….something so simple – but so magical. Sending love and strength to all of you as you “heal”…….Love Auntie K

  6. Hey, I just stumbled across a picture of your little guy on Pinterest. My son had the same surgery when we was six months old. That was in November of 2008. Now he is a crazy, busy, smart 4 year-old. You can’t even see his scar unless his hair is really short and even then he just thinks it looks like lightening. 🙂 Just wanted you to know it will not always be at the fore of your mind! 🙂

    1. How sweet of you Pam! Thanks for writing me. I feel like so many people have gone through this surgery but it is not talked about like other popular ailments. Its always great to hear from another Cranio Mom! Sawyer is already back to his crazy self, this kid has no fear! Glad to hear your little guy is doing well too!

      (also sweet of you to follow me from a pinterest picture here!)

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